If you read the title and thought this post would be about shutting off ESPN and getting up off the couch and doing something...not so much. That phrase, "most people sit on the couch" was the phrase the Christian counselor said to me as I walked into his office this afternoon. I must have shot him a quizzical look as I took in the sight of his very livingroom-esqe office.
I chose a comfortable looking chair. After all, most people who see a counselor are crazy right? And if most crazy people sit on the couch then I'm sitting on a chair because I am clearly not crazy...am I?
Well that's how it all started anyway. But as we began to talk I began to relax. This didn't seem so strange, so crazy, after all. It was my first time to see a Christian counselor. As a pastor I have referred dozens of people to this exact same man, but I've never been. Until today.
God is teaching me that leaning on others is okay. He is teaching me that I don't have to be the rock everyone else leans on. He is teaching me that if I am that rock then I am putting myself in Jesus' sandles, and my feet aren't made to walk in those shoes. He is teaching me it's okay to melt down, literally, into a 210 pound pile of blubbering grown man on the floor in tears. Fun mental picture, huh? Now give the guy a red-hair faux hawk...yep, that's me.
He is also teaching me it's okay to laugh and smile and crack jokes. Even after a tragedy. Even when you think you would rather just go be alone. Even when others are around. God is teaching me that life goes on. Even when you wish you could push rewind or pause. God is teaching me alot right now. Keep reading this blog and maybe He will speak to you. Or maybe you'll just be reading the ramblings of a crazy man.
Next week I think I'll sit on the couch.
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Just for fun mang, when the counselor gets up to shake your hand...sit in his chair and say, "now the pupil becomes the teacher."
ReplyDeleteGood stuff Todd! It's impossible to think about Jimmy and not smile...or not laugh, with a few tears mixed in. Thats just shows you that you're alive and God has gotten ah hold of your heart.
ReplyDeleteThanks Todd!! No problems here being a blubbering, sobbing mass of jello on the floor. In fact, I think you've seen me near that point a couple of times over the past few weeks.
ReplyDeleteBut, with time, the pain does begin to subside - a little - and we do realize that we all must go on, that Jimmy would want us, no demand us, to press on. And more importantly, God wants us to press on. Clearly, since we are all still here our work isn't done - God isn't finished with us yet.
Thank-you for sharing - continuing to pray for you, bro'!!
I'm guessing you're seeing the same one Pace and I saw after Addie was born--we sat on the couch :) Usually I had a big Diet Coke in hand, for support, but after the first session we realized that we--okay, I more than Pace--LOVED going! We went there to deal with Addie's diagnosis, but came away after the summer of sessions with him with so much to build into our marriage, and now we recommend counseling to everybody!!
ReplyDeleteI hope your "couch days" prove to be helpful. Pace and I are still praying for you :)