A View From The Couch

So I went back to the counselor on Monday. I sat in the chair at first, but then remembered I said I would try the couch next time. So I moved. He looked at me funny so i explained. The look didn't change much...maybe a little more amused than confused, but more or less the same look. Oh well. I am in a counselor's office so he knows I have issues, right?

The couch was good to me. I liked the leather smell and the freedom to kinda let myself sink into a good slouch. The chair was too straight and tall for that. I think a good slouch is a the right position for counseling. It lets me really relax and be myself. God knows I don't sit tall and straight at home on my own furniture.

So the good doctor and I talked alot. Actually I talked alot and he listened alot. I like him for that. He asked me questions when my stories got too long or wandered into nowhere land. He asked me about re-engaging my life at home and at work. He asked about how Trena and I had told our two girls about Mr. Jimmy's passing. He encouraged me to start working out. He said that there is something about getting the heart rate up and the lungs pumping for all they are worth that is healing, even for pains that are less physical and more emotional.

He told me to expect a big let down this week. He said I would likely be tired, irritable, unmotivated and prone to isolating myself. I told him to read my blog about my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad morning that morning. He smiled. I like him more and more. It's like he is reading my email and telling me what's coming before I even know it's there. And he lets me just talk things out. And he gets me talking about stuff I wouldn't talk about normally. But it's ok there because it's just me and him and my friend "doctor-patient privilege". So I know I can be real and honest and open. No pressure. No need to have all the answers or even seem like I do. He doesn't expect me to be a rock, impervious to the elements. It's cool. I can just slouch back into the couch, take a deep breath and open the gates.

My favorite hour so far this week was the hour I spent on the couch.