Write It Down

This past weekend I went over to the York home to do some yard work. I took with me two boxes that I have had in my possession for a couple of weeks. They contain all of Jimmy's personal things that were in his desk when he passed away. I had promised Tricia I would bring them to her and leave them in the garage for her to go through whenever she was ready.

When I talked to her tonight she had gone through them. And inside she found many treasures I'm sure - pictures of the boys, mementos of Jimmy's ministry, books he was reading or had read, rough drafts of classes he was planning to teach. I am sure there were tears of joy and tears of pain as she unpacked each item and remembered its significance.

But the things she commented on when we talked were a couple of Jimmy's journals. She found one from 2005 in which he had written of the pride he felt as a new father. He penned words describing his joy and how much he looked forward to being a dad for Braxton. He wrote a promise to raise his baby son to love the church and to love the Lord. He left no doubts about his feelings or his intentions. Not that anyone would have doubted those things anyway. After all, we all knew his passions were his God, his family and his church. But his boys didn't really get a chance to know their dad that way.

Tricia became emotional as she said to me that one day Braxton could read his daddy's own words in his own handwriting and know what Jimmy had planned for him. I choked back my own tears as I considered that thought, projecting forward in my mind to a day when a young red-headed boy would sit in his room and read those words, tears flowing and pride welling in his heart. He will know that his dad was a man of God. He will know that his dad thought of him. He will know that his dad loved him deeply and was proud. Not proud of anything his son had done, but proud simply that God had blessed him with this son.

And I thought to myself, "I need to do that." Maybe I'm just a cheesy sentimentalist but the Garth Brooks song 'If Tomorrow Never Comes' popped into my head. If my tomorrow never comes will I have expressed my love, my pride, my plans, my desires for my family? Will they each understand how deeply I care for them and how much I want for them? I hope so. I think so. But I'm no longer content to hope and think. I have the power to ensure.

So I am going to write it down. In detail. For my wife, for my daughters, for my parents, for my friends. And not only will I write it down, but I am also going to shoot a little home video. And these won't just explain how I feel, but also what I think, what I am passionate about, my hopes, dreams and aspirations for them.

I am going to put all my cards on the table. Will you join me? Will you write it down? Because one thing I have learned is that for each of us, some day, tomorrow won't come.